I feel like most of the people I know, who are relatively close to my age, know what they’re doing.  Or at least have some sort of working plan for the next part of life.  I don’t.  And that scares me. 

I used to have things all figured out but now that I’ve actually got to make real decisions, I just don’t know.  It’s like I’m scared to commit to any one thing.  Which is exactly what I need to do if I’m going to grad school.  Which is exactly what I need to do if I want to get a better job.  Don’t get me wrong–I’m soo happy that I got the job I have now.  I really like the area I work in and I really love [some of] the people I work with  .  So that’s all good.  The less than all good part is the money.  I’ve never really been a money kind of person.  That is, I’m not incredibly materialistic and I don’t feel like I have to find a great job that is going to make me rich or anything like that.  BUT I would like to have something that will pay me enough that I can move out of my mother’s house some day.  Not an outrageous dream, in my opinion. I could move out now but a) I would *totally* need a roommate and b) I would be way poor.  Like seriously just Ramen and tap water for me.  How do people do it?  I don’t understand. 

So, I’ve been really trying to decide what I want to do.  Today, for a short while atleast, I thought I’d come to the conclusion that I’d go ahead with Library Science.  I was talking to Heather, who is one of our job-share Adult librarians.  She had just finished an outreach our branch has with the nursing homes in the area and it had gone really well.  Listening to her made me think that I could really get into being a librarian.  An Adult Librarian, anyway.  I could maybe be a Teen Librarian but I’m not sure that I could ever pull off being a Childrens Librarian.  As a librarian I could even incorporate my TESL background, given the right demographic by focusing some sort of outreach on English Language Learners.  (That just came to me and totally makes sense.  It could be really cool!) 

Anyway, the reason I wrote that first part in the past tense (“…I thought I’d come to the conclusion…”) is because I talked to Kat after leaving work and she mentioned something about the opportunities the peace corps has with TESL.  Which I really quite seriously looked into before I finished school.  It won’t work with my situation right now but is something I’d maybe like to do in the future.  Anyway, that got me thinking about teaching *again* and lessened my confidence in the decision to go with Library Science.  Another thing that I fret about with library science is the availability of jobs.  In Akron, at least, the jobs are hard to come by and let’s be honest, the Akron-Summit County Public Library is pretty much great when compared with other systems in the area.  So I’d either need to consider a rather drastic move after completing Grad School or go into some other type of library (that is, not Public). 

All of that to say…I just don’t know.

Pray for me?  I need to make a decision [last week] if I’m going to start Grad School next fall.  For real. 

peace out–

 Gilmore Girls.  

i love the little town of Stars Hallow.  i love the people.  even Taylor and Kirk.  

….or maybe the Office.  because then i could steal Jim away from Pam 

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I probably spent a good five hours listening to my ipod on the bus ride out to Chicago.  Fun times.  haha.

   

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“I saw Bullet Head last week, and he said to say hi,” said Frank.

“What?” said Dad, straining to hear.

“I said I saw Don Rickles last week–you know, Bullet Head,” Frank said, louder than before. 

“What?  Tony, tell Frank to speak up, I can’t hear him.”

Tony passed the message on, and Frank tried again to tell his story, this time almost shouting, without success.

In exasperation, Frank pulled the hearing aid from his ear and stuffed it into Dad’s.  “Tell him to put this on so he can hear me,” he told Tony.

Dad fixed the hearing aid to his ear and Frank tried again.

“I saw Rickles last week, for God’s sake,” he yelled.

“What are you shouting for, pallie?” Dad asked.  “I can hear you just fine.”

“What?” said Frank, his hand cupped around his ear.  “You’ll have to speak up.  I can’t hear a damn word.”

Frank Sinatra & Dean Martin: The Late Years courtesy of Deana Martin in MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THIS. 

random title but appropriate, i promise.

so i recently decided to go for something i’ve been thinking about for a long time–veganism.  i’ve not consumed any animal products for about 3 weeks now.  no meat, no dairy, no eggs, nothing.  not as difficult as i thought it might be.  i’ve been cooking a lot.  lots of good stuff.  made this chickpea salad type stuff last night inspired by the “chick pea smash” from www.vegan-gal.com .  not exactly what she suggests but mighty good, nevertheless.  i’ve also been eating a lot of rice.  the rice cooker has become a permanent fixture in my kitchen.  i steam veggies to go with it sometimes.  put some black beans in with the rice i made last night.  sometimes i just have it with soy sauce.  all good

…and part of this might very well be in my head but i honestly feel better since i’ve started this.  i feel like i have more energy.  it’s lovely. 

on to the “dino” part of my title.  pretty much anyone who has ever met me knows that i’m a fan of dean martin (perhaps the understatement of the year).  anyway.  i’ve been reading these biographies on him & his buddies (i.e. the rat pack, etc).  the first one i read was way back at the end of last year.  Dean & Me by Jerry Lewis.  gotta say i’m not a big jerry fan.  he pretty much irritates the crap outta me.  but it definitely got me even more hooked on dino.  a few weeks ago i finished the Rat Pack Confidential and again, i wasn’t completely thrilled with the book itself but it still furthered my love.  Now, i’m reading Memories Are Made Of This which was written by his daughter, Deana.  i kinda feel like she’s just tryin to further cash in on his name but i can’t help but love it.  really makes the famous Dean Martin seem more…”real”. 

it kinda makes me laugh because people don’t know what they’re getting themselves into when they look through my ipod.  a friend from the cafe, who is seemingly baffled by my love for Dean, said i couldn’t possibly like all of the bands i have on my playlist.  simply asked him why i’d include them, if i didn’t like ‘em.  he shrugged and moved on but i’m the first to admit that my taste in music is more than just a little eclectic.  while Dean is, by far, my favorite, i like a wide variety.

..which brings me to that last point in the title–hanson.  spent a couple of hours this morning driving to different stores trying to find the latest Hanson CD–The Walk.  finally found it (as well as another Dean ) at best buy and i’m currently enjoying it.  will probably have a non-stop hanson-a-thon from now until wednesday because i’m going to the concert at the House of Blues.  soooo excited.

on that note.  i need to stop rambling and go get ready for work. 

PEACE

  i’ll be the first to admit that i like to watch tv…and i do like a wide variety of shows but my all-time favorite show is Friends.  i can watch a single episode 50 times and still laugh through the entire thing. 

   

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This is going to sound cheesy and many days it probably doesn’t look like I really mean what I’m about to say but what I’m most thankful for is my mom.  Don’t get me wrong.  We fight like crazy sometimes and neither of us are perfect but I’ve seen the relationships some people have with their parents and I just feel really lucky to have what I do with her.  She’s done more than I or anyone else could have ever expected for me.  

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As a side note, let me just mention that I’m going to see Hanson next wednesday at the House of Blues and I’m pretty darn excited  

At first glance?  Honestly?  Of course I do.  It’s not that I mean to and I would never intentionally treat someone differently based on that judgement but I think we all judge on a basic level at least part of the time. 

There was a man that came into the library today, actually, with a group from some sort of nursing home and my first thought was that it was going to be a challenging interaction.  He turned out to be entirely competent and a very nice & polite man on top of that.  

I don’t think we can ever totally block out that judging part of ourselves but, in my opinion at least, it’s not so much about what you initially think as it is about how you treat a person. 
   

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I was thinking about what I would say in response to this question but I’ve decided it’s kind of lame.  I mean no offense towards anyone who has answered/will answer but really, unless this person is dead, what is preventing you from apologizing??  Why bother with the could/should bs?–If there is reason to write a response to this entry, why are you writing?  Shouldn’t you be out *doing*? 

And I’m speaking to myself here as well, by the way, as I did have a person in mind who deserves apologies from me, so I’m not trying to attack but…seriously–what kind of a question is this??

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I would definitely have to go with the ability to read minds.  While I think that such a thing would bring on a lot of problems, it would also solve soooo many problems.  For example, I wouldn’t have to deal with all the mind games of dating.  I could just look at the particular guy and know what he was thinking.  I could then either act/react or walk away.  I mean–seriously!  Other things, too.  Having just finished the interviewing process, I could have looked at the person I was talking to and just known what they needed to hear from me…or even just knowing at the end of the interview what they thought of me…  

Like I said, I think a lot of bad would come with this super-power, too.  With the dating thing…might ”accidentally” find out that someone has feelings that simply are not reciprocated.  Or, similarly, might find out what certain people *really* think about me.  haha.  But really–wouldn’t it be better to know if someone didn’t like me?  I would know if little habits of mine annoyed my co-workers and I could change them or make them better.  It would make everyone happy, in the long run, I think. 

But, alas, I do not have and likely will never have these or any other powers.        

   

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