i don't know what all this entry will include. it mite turn out to be a bunch of pointless ramblings like most everything that shows up here..or it mite actually include something that makes sense. i guess we'll see.
so i did go out to the cafe tonite as planned. theres this guy who is teaching a class based on the book "share Jesus without fear" by william fay (i believe theres a co-author but i don't know who off the top of my head) and so i'll be there, God willing, for the next 3 thursdays. it sounds pretty cheesy but there is some really good stuff in the study. and after that, as anticipated, i was just chillin there while rob worked on my computer. now last nite, we were there until somewhere around midnite. we being erica, rob, his friend james, and myself.. tonite i figured that i wouldn't be there nearly as long because he didn't rilly have much left to do and it was just the 2 of us so i didn't figure as much debate would be sparked as last nite, which i won't go into cuz it would only frustrate me.
i was there until 12:15 tonite. man...
so yah..it was just rob and i in there--for an hour maybe. then the volunteers came over to ask rob questions about closing up... not a big deal. well..i didn't think it would be...except, this girl.....sweet sweet girl. shes prolly my age or older....i think she has sumthin wrong with her. and i dont say that to be mean..shes just..different. so she comes in with this guy (a friend of hers) and another woman.. and we're all talking..everything is a-ok. then she starts the whole boyfriend routine. and i mean, every time i've ever been around her for more than about 2 minutes, she asks if i have a boyfriend and if so, what his name is and on and on and on (amusing cuz she thinks that we've just met for the first time) and all this is again, normally a-ok. but tonite, because i was sitting in the offices with rob, she decides to play this game:
[stage whisper] so are you robs girlfriend?
no.
[rob starts to laugh]
you know, rob is really good with computers.
yes, i know. thats why i'm having him help me with my laptop.
so you are rob's girlfriend?
and it kinda went on like that for a bit with rob trying hold a conversation with someone else and, at the same time, change the subject i was involved with. it dropped after a few minutes.. good. i'm never a fan of those games.
eventually she left with her friend and it was rob, the woman (kim, i think) and i. we talked, rather heatedly at times, until a little after 12. meaning, it went on for at least 2 hours i'm guessing, and prolly longer than that.
our conversation dealt with a lot of things but the main topics covered included the war, G.W., love, and God. it was interesting. on a spectrum, rob and kim are at different ends (neither being extreme, necesarily) and i'm somewhere between... i think. rob knows a lot about a lot of stuff and so does kim but i think their knowledge covers different things which made it all very interesting.
it made me think.
it made me question.
it made me re-evaluate myself.
again.
i'm realizing that i talk a lot of stuff that i dont always carry thru. when we were talking about the war, i said that i dont believe war is ever the best answer.
But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; 40 and if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; 41 and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you. 43 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. --Matthew, Chapter 5 (vv. 40-48)
that, to me, is not supporting war. Jesus' message was a message of love and if my goal, as a self-professing follower of Christ, is to actually become like Christ, then i need to acting as He would and believing as He would, &c. the opposite of war is peace. as far as i can tell, the only way to really achieve peace is to love. and love, as the fairly well known passage in 1 Corinthians 13 says, involves a lot:
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; 5 it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For our knowledge is imperfect and our prophecy is imperfect; 10 but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. 13 So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
And even though i have read this many many times and could quote most of it to you, at least in pieces, i realize i don't act that way in my day to day life. brandon, this kid that just bugs the crap out of me, is a perfect example. hes one of the cafe kids. been "kicked out" many times... and here i am, preaching my message of love and peace..yet, i am one of the people that has asked Brandon to leave. if i would just love him and let God work thru me instead of allowing myself to get all frustrated and angry with him... and the same thing with last nite at the cafe when we got into a big debate about all this different stuff... and again, at home with my mom. gosh, does the list end? if i'd just step back, and let God love thru me, i wouldn't have to worry about all this. i want to rilly live like Jesus. i mean, He's a way cool guy. cooler than i'll ever be...but we gotta have goals... and like rob said earlier, i'm gonna try to be like Him, but not too hard, cuz then its my effort and that just defeats the purpose.
i'm not sure if that all made sense but its late and i gotta get up to take the kiddies to school in the AM so i'm out for now.
) and i'm sorry if i made u feel bad by anything i said.
i love you~
). got my exam back in linguistics and i got a 93 on it so i was pleased with that. american lit was fun tambien. y'know...i rilly don't mind going to class that much...its just all that work the profs feel they need to assign that i'm not a fan of. if i could go to class (for free) and learn all these interesting things but not have the pressures of exams, papers and other stupid assignments...i'd be cool with the whole process. and then, in the end, they could hand me a paper that i would show my mom that says i was there...and everyone would be happy. its like those annoying walgreens commercials--thats perfect. this is life. or some crap along those lines.
so we walked down to the chinese place. got some lo mein. good stuff. walked down to the elementary school playground and chilled there while we ate. met this rilly cute lil kid. i doubt he was even 2 years old. name was ian. he was just wandering around the playground with his dad following behind. kat shared her fortune cookie and we made some friends. it was rilly cool.
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