June 2, 2005
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so far so good.
i'm runnin on less than four hours of sleep but i'm doin ok for now.
class was good this morning. i was kind of dreading it but we had an interesting discussion about the last movie we watched--Pleasantville. i still haven't completely made up my mind as to whether or not i like it. i do like parts of it but there are other things that irritate me...
but what i rilly wanted to comment on or at least refer to by writing (omg--i actually have a purpose?!?!) is sumthin someone else wrote about in their xanga..and that has to do with questioning things, faith & religion specifically.
i think that in order for a person to have a real faith, it needs to be tested. i can't imagine going thru life being spoon fed something and just taking it for granted, believing it to be truth because that is what i was told...and yet SO many people live that way. i didn't grow up "in the church" and i'm thankful for that in many ways. on one hand, i will never have that background in a church that so many people have, but on the other hand, i have a different background that has taught me things that others mite never be given the chance to rilly know.
i'm not saying that i think its bad to grow up with a family who attends a church regularly and raises their kids in their faith--not by any means..but in that case, i think there needs to be a point where the parents encourage their children to "think for themselves." otherwise, the faith belongs to the parents alone and the kids will prolly walk in the opposite direction the moment they are given that chance.
i've personally spent the past i-don't-know-how-many-months (perhaps even year or two) questioning pretty much everything i thought i knew. i'm glad that this has come fairly early in my faith. i've been "born again" for 8 or 9 years and in the grand scheme of things, that makes me a bit of a youngin. but i'm glad i've been taking the time to examine things...to figure out if what i believe is real...to seek answers to questions...
i've watched some of my closest friends turn away from faith for reasons i'm not totally aware of. i've seen the questioning turn into a discouraging thing (discouraging from my perspective at least).
i've seen how by being away from God, i can turn into a bitter and cynical person who has no goals and no direction.
i don't rilly like to call myself a "Christian." i think there are more negative connotations associated with that word than positive in today's society and personally, i find it quite embarrassing. i am not saying, however, that i am embarrassed to call myself a "follower of Christ" and while that is, in essence, what Christian is supposed to mean, it is not the reality of the situation.
i've become fascinated with words and their meanings & roots over the past year or so.. the OED is just about the coolest thing for this. the following is taken from there.
Christian comes from the Greek word
found in Acts 11:26(b) which says (KJV)
"...And it came to pass,
that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and
taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians first in
Antioch."
which of course was based on the word for Christ...
there is this big huge list of meanings for the words and some of t actually show up until #3 after #1 (a-d) and #2 (a-c) is pretty sad.
the definitions kind of make me sick. the fact that the definition,
"Of persons and their qualities or actions: Showing character and
conduct consistent with discipleship to Christ; marked by genuine
piety; following the precepts and example of Christ; Christ-like,"
doesn'
if u have access to the OED i would definitely encourage u to check out stuff like this...the university of akron is cool about providing free access to the site and that makes me happy.
but anyways, i've come a long way and i'm prolly not really connecting things or making sense anymore so i guess i'm off for now.
sleep perhaps?
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