September 3, 2005
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first week of classes? check.
today (as in Friday) has been a crazy long but really great day.
i had my one class this morning. came home.. not really sure what all i did. "worked" for a while getting some things in the mail and preparing myself for the insanity that is to come.
then i was out to eat for dinner and saw a random but familiar face which was v.cool except it had me in a weird mood for a while.
went putt putt golfing with erica & kat. good times.
can't believe kat leaves tomorrow for arizona and--omg--won't be back until december. crazy. i'm so glad we got to hang out tonight tho. after putt putt we chilled outside, joined by abigail, until some time after 2...just talking and reminiscing bout the good ol' days.
it scares me a bit--this whole growing up thing. i said something along the lines of "i don't wanna grow up" earlier tonight and abigail was like "too late." when did that happen? when did we all grow up? george will graduate from high school this year and that just totally blows my mind. i mean, i realize that i have graduated from high school and will be (hopefully) graduating from college in about a year and a half but the fact that other people are growing up too...? no. it just doesn't register.
life is changing-- a lot and quickly. people are getting married and having babies (not necessarily in that order). people are moving. people are graduating--from high school and college. kids that i babysat when they were infants are getting too tall for my own comfort. kids that were once so cute and innocent are now not so much kids and not exactly innocent.
i don't know how people do this. this life. am i the only one who sits and dwells on the past? i know i should be living in the present--not concerned with what has been or even really where i am headed beyond the not-so-distant-future... but i can't seem to get past the concept of time and the fact that i just don't understand it. time, that is. and ok, its not as though all i do is sit here and reminisce like i'm 80 years old but when i do stop to think about it all, i just get so...argh. so like this--sitting here at my desk at 3am trying to figure out how exactly i've come to this place...
ok. well i think i'm finally exhausted. physically, emotionally, and spiritually. sleep will solve at least one of those issues & hopefully alleviate the others so thats where i'm headed. sleep.
peace--
Comments (4)
I don't want to grow up either. : ( I don't even know what I want to be when I grow up. In my head, I'm still 21... forever. I guess it doesn't help that everyone I meet thinks I'm a teenager.
when did we grow up, man?? remember when we were just in sixth grade.. thinking we were all that and a bag of chips in mrs. demangeant's class. walking around lake anna. taking off all our outerwear in an effort to make ourselves appreciate the warmth more, going to kenmore dairy queen and skating parties... wow. i kinda got on a roll there. anyways. i feel ya. there is definite dwellage on the past for me too. lov ya kristina!! we need to hang out asap!! lovess.
growing up means many different things to many people, but it definitely does suck, especially when questioning where time went. as long as we remember that we are always children of the Father, and live as such, we will be ok. thats what i try to always tell myself when i dwell on the past.
I ment to leave this comment on your xanga.... but wrote it on mine instead! Here it is:
Yeah I saw Closer too.... I was all excited because of the all-star cast and because the trailer had my favorite song ever on it (The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice). Definately walked out of the theater feeling "dirty"..... unfortunately, I think it was brutally honest about many secular relationships today.
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